Secret Garden

by Bruce Springsteen

She'll look at you and smile.
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden.

Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away.

+++++++++++++

Although the song doesn't remind me of Chona, the lyrics do take me back. And, Bruce Springsteen is the favorite band of one of my friends, Mike Pestich.

A young girl of only 17 came into my life when I was 26. She was soon to turn 29, but still, there were implications to a relationship of that difference in age. I was torn between young and old. I knew there was still a tender, undamaged part of Chona in both her mother and father's eyes. I was this strange older man, looking to rip that out of her.

At least, that's what some may say...

...but I cared for Chona in a way that no 17 or 18 year-old boy had the horsesense to have. At times, Chona was stoic and withdrawn; at other times, she was willing to be intruded emotionally. I think I have that way with people. I come off as abrasive on my outer layers, but deeper within, there's something more. I've often compared it to the layers of an onion revealing very different flavors, from bitter to bland.

After a dozen years or so apart, we still keep in touch quite a bit. Although we had a great emotional relationship (the Capricorn and the Pisces), we still tore each other apart. The things that made our relationship great also tore it apart. The love was great, but we frayed each other at the edges until we weren't the people either of us were intended to be at the end of the road.

Still, the song also reminds me of the basement at her parent's house and hanging with her friends or living at 380 West Third, in Victorian Village. I also remember watching her practice the clarinet, although her parents didn't allow her to actually play it, only practice the finger placements. Very odd that she was a great clarinet player although she couldn't practice in the proper way.

Still, I miss Chona from time-to-time. I miss how we got along beautifully and how she was one of those people who made me feel like there were ghosts of books waiting to be born with my name on them.

[sigh-smile]